Bad days, not so bad days

April Journaling

1.     I went for a two hour appointment with a doctor that Occupational Health set up. He was thorough and the aim is for me to return to work in some way, but I don’t think he understood what I could do, which isn’t much. Or that what I can do on Monday, I can’t necessarily do on a Thursday. That’s the nature of Fibromyalgia.

2.     So frustrated with paperwork. I am waiting on one piece of paper which my manager needs to get for me, but of course, it’s not here and now we’re heading into a long weekend. Also, we need to prepare to live on an income reduction of 30%. I made a new budget. Whether we can keep to it is another question.

3.     Good Friday. We have a breakfast at church before the Good Friday service. I had so much pain during the service. I don’t know what my triggers are. It could have been the pancakes. I’m trying to go gluten-free as much as possible. Who knows? I had a long nap, a hot tub, and then a nice fish dinner. Now watching The Imitation Game.

4.     I ran a few errands today, with our daughter. Did some laundry and baked two blueberry pies for Easter dinner tomorrow.

5.     We had my mother-in-law over for Easter dinner after church today. Then I had a three hour nap.

6.     We drove our daughter back to Kingston, ate lunch at a Korean restaurant, took her grocery shopping, and helped tidy up and address some plumbing issues in the house.

7.     Picking up a free walker from a lady at church whose mother died. My mom needs it for her knee replacement in June. Then buying a few yoga pants, my new go-to clothes. My motto used to be fashion before comfort, now it’s comfort before fashion.

8.     Finally got all the paperwork from my boss so I could send off the LTD forms. Heading into a big drop in income, so I redid our budget. I hope we can stick to it.

9.     Finally got a haircut and highlights today. I feel gross and desperate enough to brave the possible effects from the chemicals in the salon. My mom is coming with me in case I fall asleep there. I managed by taking a short break outside. I was in a smock with foil in my hair, but I am past the point of being embarrassed. A woman walked by and asked if I was the advertising.

10.  At WINGS today we made curried chicken, rice and peas, festival dumplings, salad, banana cake with brown butter icing, and buttermilk spice cake. It was very well received, but I was exhausted from it.

11.  Going to visit our grandson and then go to our daughter’s church to hear her sing. My mom is coming with us, so she’ll hear preaching for the first time in about two years.

12.  More pain during the past two weeks. Been overdoing it, and by overdoing it, I mean one appointment and a walk each day. And they think I can go back to work?

13. Sent in my LTD forms finally.

14. Going for a massage today. I hope they know how to deal with a Fibro body. I used to be able to handle hard massage, now everything is tender. Also we are starting up the Women’s walk and talk at our church tonight, and having a planning meeting for the Ladies’ retreat.

15.  Went for a massage yesterday and going to the chiropractor tomorrow. Will anything help this jaw pain?

16. Oh my goodness! I went to a chiropractor today and she helped relieve my jaw pain and my limp, on the first visit!

17.  We prepped lunch at WINGS, we did ham, scalloped potatoes, sautéed yellow zucchini, salad and Hawaiian marshmallow squares. Then I took a two hour nap, we had steak and salmon cooked on our new bbq, took a walk for an hour with my husband, then had a sauna, and crashed.

18.  We went out to the west end to pick up tons of baby furniture to be donated to WINGS by one of my husband’s co-workers. Beautiful, designer stuff. They’ll love it.

19.  We’ve been starting to walk daily. I am trying to build up my stamina. Heading into one of the busiest weeks, with two or three things to do each day.

20. Talked with the LTD people today, had a chiropractor appointment and a meeting for retreat planning. My LTD claim is still pending? Really? I pay into it for twenty years and they hesitate now?

21.  Women’s Bible study this morning, on John 11. Cope with Hope support group meeting tonight. Fewer people but more meaningful discussion as people are opening up more. I do this as much for myself as for others, even though it’s a lot of work.

22. Off to another sleep study tonight. I feel kind of silly because I have to bring my own blankets, sheets and pillow because of my MCS.

23.  There weren’t any significant chemicals yesterday so I was able to sleep. I caught myself unable to breathe a few times. I hope they caught it on the test. Going to the chiropractor today, and pre-cooking the pulled pork for tomorrow at WINGS.

24. Made lunch at WINGS; pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, and blueberry pie with ice cream. Then heading to Kingston to pack Leah up and bring her home. Her first year of Law school is done! Tired just thinking about it.

25.  We got my daughter’s things moved into a storage locker. I wasn’t much help, a bit of tidying up and minor packing.

26.  Church was very good today, such good preaching. We feel very much at home here.

27.  After last week, I’m happy to not have to go anywhere.

28.  Went to see my doctor today. She was more understanding today, although she still doesn’t understand that I can’t push myself any more than I’m already doing. She also doesn’t realize that Fibro affects every system in the body. But it was a helpful visit, nonetheless.

29.  Our daughter is getting her bags packed for her two month trip to England. She’s going to study international law and do a semester’s worth work in two months.

30.   It’s my birthday! Although it’s been my worst year, physically, it’s turning out to be a good one spiritually. Also, I got an ice cream machine as a gift, so guess what I’ll be serving for dessert at any dinner parties I host?